It’s More Complicated Than That.

Aug 16

Tonight for dinner I made my favorite kind of food. Tomatoes and basil fresh from the garden chopped and mixed with olive oil, balsamic vinegar and fresh mozzarella served over toasted french bread. The red of the vegetable, green herb, white cheese all together; so beautiful. Food is art and like a painting the splashes of color combined together is what makes us stand and stare in awe. Flavors coming alive on your tongue or on the canvas in front of you are created from dimensions, depth. No painting, plate of food or anything that is beautiful is flat, everything good, sweet, noteworthy in the world has to be savored, taken in, experienced to truly be appreciated. Like lingering over a cup of coffee after a good meal.

I think people are like this too. After all, people, human beings are the most beautiful creation, and what is even more amazing is, no two human are the same. My sister and I look like we belong together, yet we couldn’t be more different. My oldest daughter has my face shape, but her daddy’s big brown eyes and the look that twinkles in them - that is all her. We are each a combination of breathtaking colors. So many different combinations I couldn’t even try to name them all. The beauty of the human race is unlike anything else.

Our stories mirror our looks. Each person carries within them a story unlike anyone else’s. No two stories are the same, no two people have the exact experiences. Our stories, they hold parts of the life we have led. The ways love, joy, celebration have shaped us. Like a puzzle, each experience is a piece forming who we are. In the pile of beautiful pieces of our puzzle, there are dark ones strewn in. Pain, loss, hurt, rejection, betrayal, disappointment. These are the pieces we never planned for and wouldn’t have chosen. They are unwanted marks, but they make up important and valuable parts of our stories all the same. We can’t get away from them, they become a part of who we are.

Just like you couldn’t merely look at my dinner to fully experience it, you would need to taste it, we can’t get the full picture of any human being without sitting and experiencing them. This is why this West African saying grabbed me. “If you sit at my table and eat with me, you’ll know who I am.” In order to know where a person is coming from, to understand their perspective, their point of view, their passions and hurts - we have to sit at the table with them. Sit and listen to their story.

Everywhere I look people are getting on their soap box. We have an “us and them” mentality that is putting human beings in two camps. We are making people black or white when all we are is color, and I am not talking about race. As I read individuals on both “sides” of every issue passionately let loose their opinions I keep saying over and over “It’s more complicated than that.”. And it is, because friends, we are more complicated than that. We are nuanced, each and every one of us. When we come to the table we, each of us, bring our puzzle of pieces that have formed our opinions, perspectives and outlooks.

As we segregate on either side of a growing divide we are all losing. We are missing out on the colors hiding in the stories we aren’t taking the time to listen to. And where as much of our current tensions are about race (and rightly so, in my opinion) I am not talking about skin color, although the color of our skin also plays a definite roll in the story of our life and to think otherwise is short sighted. The colors I am talking about are hidden deep down inside of us, they are as unique and individual as the features on each of our faces.

With the rise of this current “talk to the hand” attitude we are putting up walls of derision before we even try to take a listen and find the human underneath. We are elevating politics, policies, wealth, comfort and the way things were above humanity, experiences and story. If we think a story may not fit with our narrative we spew hate hoping for what, I am not sure, but no good comes from it except for a fleeting moment of pride. Often accentuated by a pat on the back from those who are just like us. Here is the truth, no human knows it all, is completely right, or has a perfect perspective. Even the greatest among us have had huge blunders. If you are the first one to know it all, all the time, my hat is off to you - bravo, you truly have arrived.

At the end of the day it comes down to our motives. Why are we on our soap box? What is the result we are hoping to obtain by widening the divide between “us and them”? If it is to help people understand our point of view, may I suggest a different way? Sitting down at a (real, or virtual) table, eating some crusty bread smothered in fresh tomatoes and mozzarella, pulling out and dusting off our listening ears and allowing ourselves to open up to see and experience all the colors of someone else’s story. I think we may be surprised at how beautiful of an experience it will be - and how much we have in common with those we vehemently disagree with.

And for the Jesus Follower, this last part is especially for us.

Jesus sat with those different from him. He went to the home of Zacchaeus, asked the right questions to know the Samaritan Woman at the well. He listened to the stories of those he encountered and they chose him. He was winsome.

If somehow Jesus has become your reason for not being a story listener, you are following a twisted gospel. It is our job to sit with Jesus and then go and sit with those who don’t know him, in compassion, with love and tenderness. Leading them to the truth of his love, peace, grace, forgiveness as opportunity presents itself .

As Jesus people we have become especially good at ignoring the color in people’s stories. The parts we don’t understand, make us uncomfortable or are hard and sad. And yet, Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus and over and over in the New Testament we see him looking at the crowds and acting out of compassion for them. When someone chooses to share the pain in their story, as Jesus Followers, we follow Jesus and we act in compassion. Understanding is not a pre-requisite for compassion.

God named himself the God of justice, fighting for the marginalized, forgotten, outcasts; those not found in the majority culture. This is how he introduced himself over and over in the Old Testament. As a Jesus Follower, a child of the Living God, if when I encounter pain and/or injustice, I have any reaction other than compassion I am not reflecting him.

A sure sign I am acting out of my humanity is when I am confronted with someone else’s pain and the injustice done to them and my first reaction is defensiveness or justification of myself or those I identify with. Here is the truth: Injustice is someone else making a choice others have to live with the consequences of. When we encounter people who have experienced injustice, even and especially from the majority culture (i.e. church, race, social class) that we belong to, it is our duty- and privilege to humble ourselves, sit at the table, and listen with compassion. Justification and defensiveness close the door on conversation; humility allows for story sharing, relationship building, an opportunity to love like Jesus would, and does.

We are made in the image of God; we are to be reflections of his son. We are to be the image of him to the world. Humility , compassion, servanthood should define us. But, do they? This is a real question we have to ask ourselves as a whole, and as individuals. Do these things define us? Do they define me? Do they define you?

As Christ Followers, we are not the center of the story, as Jesus increases in us we must decrease, not because we don’t matter but because Jesus is healer, redeemer, Living Water, the Light of the World. This story of ours, it is about him, and we get to know him and we get to share him with others.

The stories around us, the beautiful, complicated pieces they hold in their depths, they reflect God. He is Creator, He is beautiful and the people He creates, they are beautiful too.

Sit at the table friend. Crawl down from the soap box and listen to the stories. Choose compassion and grace. Fight for justice- not for yourself, Jesus covers you, but for those who are hurting. Let’s show them their stories matter.

When someone looks in our eyes, they should see their own beauty reflected in them.

Because friends, we humans, we are always more complicated than that.